I'm here to be schoolboy pinned - I just love my belly, chest and face being used as someone's seat, and all the better if you are assertive. Badmouth me or just relax - watch tv, have a drink or snack, ignoring my gasping and panting.

Want some resistance? How about a few rounds, starting in clothes? Begin with a hand-to-hand shove down to assert dominance. I'm not strong and easy to beat, so even lightweights will have no trouble getting submissions.

Health disclaimer - due to COPD I get out of breath easily so can't fight back very much. Hope this isn't a problem.